


Relief

by EdilMayHampsen



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I am yet to title a fic with a song title given the oppritunity cause I don't know music, Other, Some Fluff, a touch of other ship but not enough to tag, another fluffy birthday fic because god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never over, get a little weeping up in this bith too, so take my one or two word titles and deal with it UwU, some affirmations. fuck yeah, some soothing, throw in a crash course on morality by mr.Juno Steel, you know the deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdilMayHampsen/pseuds/EdilMayHampsen
Summary: “Juno, am I an evil man?”“You’re not, nah.”
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	Relief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antiv3nomarts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiv3nomarts/gifts).



> TW for mention of triggering
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANTI!!! i LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I already sent u this fic but I'm gonna say again that I hope you love it!

“I know you are all tired, I acknowledge that, but before you all sleep I need to know If anything went wrong. You’re not in trouble, I just need to know who’s tracks I need to cover.” Buddy says, standing with her hands on the table.

They all stare at her, skin that kind of cold that only happens when you’re freshly scrubbed. Buddy doesn’t meet with people who smell. Juno leans on Peter’s chest, eyeing the ceiling and waiting for this meeting to be  _ over with _ . Buddy looks around at all of them.

“Is something off, Ransom?” She asks.

“No, no.” He says. He shifts his weight so that Juno has to stand on his own feet for a moment.. The moment doesn’t last long.

“Are you sure?”

“My current concerns and yours do not overlap.”

“Hm,” Buddy says, and turns to where Rita is nodding off at Jet’s side, “And you?”

“Hmm... yeah Ms.Buddy. Yeah a….brubrubrubrubru-”

“Rita!”

She snaps awake, “Wha-Huh! I mean! I didn’t have no problems and I was watching all the cameras I couldn’t turn off and they didn’t catch nobody Ma’am-buddy-ma’am!” 

“Alright. Thank you Rita.”

“You’re welcome, Miss.”

“You can go to sleep now, Rita.”

“-brubrubrubrubrubru.”

“Do I have your permission to take Rita to her room?” Jet says, “I doubt she can walk there on her own.”

“Yes, Jet. Go ahead.” 

Juno watches them leave, Jet throwing Rita over his shoulder like a sack of minor celery. She seems perfectly comfortable there.

Buddy turns to the two of them, Juno and Nureyev, and waves her hand again, “You two are also dismissed, go get your rest. I’ll-I’ll be here…” she looks down at the papers spread out before her “It couldn’t have been  _ perfect.. _ .”

Vespa moves in from the kitchen, holding two cups of tea. She wraps her arm around Buddy to put one down, leaning in close to whisper something Juno doesn’t hear.

Peter takes this as his cue to leave, though he doesn’t express this to Juno, who’s left stumbling when his post he’s using for support disappears.

He rights himself fast enough, turning to follow Peter down the hall.

“You don’t have to run, the mission’s over,” Juno jokes. Peter doesn’t slow down. “Hey.  _ Hey _ ! You might have legs for miles but Juno Steel isn’t so fast so if you would-”

The door to Peter’s room slides shut with a hiss. 

Juno huffs, thinking for a beat, before he squares his shoulders, strides up, and knocks. He waits just long enough for the dramatic pause Peter would expect, and knocks again, “Ransom, babe, I understand if you don’t want me coming in tonight, but you  _ do _ have all my blankets. It’ll be cold without you but  _ that _ cold seems like a bit mu-”

The door hisses open, along with the sound of Nureyev muttering something that Juno supposes might be ‘come in’. Juno takes his chance, dodging the item he knows will fall from Peter’s door frame-- this time a booklet on earth’s birthday customs-- and choosing to busy his hands with folding one of his blankets he picks up from where it sits discarded on the floor.

Peter mumbles at Juno from where he’s buried under the various soft things on his bed, facing the wall, “You don’t have to do that, you know. I want you to stay.” 

“News to me.” 

“Yes, well-”

“I’m only teasing. You could do more to communicate clearer, sure, but I’m not gonna lecture you right now,” He lets the blanket collapse over the fold of his arm, “You okay?” 

“About.”

“ _ Nureyev _ .” 

“Juno.”

“I do have what I need to go to my own room, you know, I could just-”

“But you won’t.”

“And why’s that?”

Peter rolls over in bed to face him, letting an arm fall out towards Juno, palm up in offering, “Because you love me, and because You know when I need...some assistance. Even if I’m too-- if I can’t say it.”

“Hey look at you, getting better at that direct communication thing already.” Juno takes Peter’s hand, falling silent as Peter presses Juno’s knuckles into his cheek, not bothering kiss to the skin, just holding it there.

Juno cards his other hand through Peter’s hair, “Hey, I’m not complaining about any of this- I love when you, you know,  _ you _ \-- but are you sure you’re okay? Cause-”

“I’m incredibly effective at the task I now plan to complete, and that is fine.” Peter pulls him in, wrapping a hand around Juno’s waist to smooth the transition as he flips Juno over, laying them side by side. Then he buries his face into Juno’s chest.

Juno takes the memo, taking a moment to just run his fingers through Peter’s black curls. He hums, “You know, I saw a pastry stand on the surface of this one.”

“Did you?” Peter says to his heart.

“I did, yeah. They looked real good, and I wasn’t really gonna do anything until I saw him steal a pear from the guy next to him and I said  _ well _ -”

That makes Nureyev chuckle, the tension in his shoulders dispersing, “Get enough for two?”

“I was  _ gonna  _ just get enough for us-”

“And?”

“And then I thought I can  _ not _ get berry dusted for Rita, it’s right there and she’d kill me if she found out we were snacking with her. And If I got  _ her _ one she’d split it with Jet, which is a shame cause you know Rita, that’s a whole pasty gal.”

“What she deserves.”

“Exactly! so I grabbed one of those chocolates for Jet. And then I thought if  _ Vespa _ saw all that-”

“Mmm, Vespa doesn’t like sweets.”

“Yeah! Cause immediately after I thought No, Vespa would be grumpy for  _ Buddy’s _ sake, so I grabbed one of those big vodkas off some  _ guy _ and a veggie patte for them to pretend to share- you know how they do- and then I thought, well,  _ dinner _ .”

Peter’s laughing again now.

“Long story short, you  _ can _ fit a whole pastry cart in your dress with enough pockets and determination.”

“Where-”

“Fridge. First thing I did. I  _ know _ I missed our usual shower makeout session but I thought that might make up for it.”

“Yes, Well,” Peter turns his head, pressing his ear to Juno’s heart and bracketing his forearm along Juno’s spine, holding him tight, “All is forgiven.”

“Now-”

“ _ Juno _ .”

“Peter,” Juno replies, unable to keep the grin off his face, “Are you  _ okay _ ?”

“I’m not hurt, Vespa checked when we got on the ship.”

“That’s not what I’m asking and you know it. You haven’t given that question a straight answer since we got back. If you want to wait until morning that’s fine, but it seems kind of urgent and I really wanna get a full night’s sleep without worrying about you at midnight. Talk to me.” 

“Mmmm _ mmmm _ .”

“Nureyev, you  _ said _ you needed, what was it,  _ assistance _ ? Is this about the- I mean...The-” A lightbulb moment, “The lift. I mean... yeah now that I think about it that felt an awful lot like Brahma-”

Peter’s whole body tenses, “How do you  _ know _ about Brahma?”

“I was  _ in your head _ , hun.” 

Peter sighs, either in relief or at his own folly, and says, “It may of been a little personally upsetting-”

“Triggering.”

“ _ Triggering _ , sure. Sure...I put it away for later but- hah- now’s later, I guess.”

Juno coos, running his palm up Peter’s neck and cheek, “What do you need?”

Peter causes for a long moment, casting his eyes down and away from Juno, worrying his lip like he does when he’s too stressed to remember how  _ expensive _ the kind of chapstick he’ll need to repair the damage is. He takes a breath.“Juno, am I an evil man?”

“You’re not, nah.”

“How are you so certain?”

Juno presses Peter away from him, sliding down until they lay nose-to-nose, and cups his hand on both sides of Peter’s face, squeezing his cheeks, (it’s adorable, but he isn’t thinking about that right now. He  _ isn’t _ . Juno is  _ focused _ ) “I know the comparison doesn’t always help, I  _ know _ . Self-loathing doesn’t work like that I- Well, I was there for a while.

“But I’ve seen so many people who  _ seek _ to hurt. Nureyev, do you  _ know _ how many lives you’ve saved?”

Peter hums, clearly bothered,“I’ve still killed people, Juno. Good people.”

“So have I. So has everyone on this ship, the butterfly effect and shadow accidents and stuff, am I making sense? We live in a universe where we have an effect and death  _ happens _ . It happens, and you know what you do with that?”

Peter’s voice is barely there, “What?”

“You live with it. Cause chances are after all that death you picked up a skill or two or a thousand-” he pokes Peter’s side meaningfully at this, “ And there are bigger, worse people to fight out there. People who kill on purpose, and you gotta use what you know to make it all better and accept what happens. Doesn’t mean it all has to be good, but living on means accepting things.”

“That’s an interesting outlook.” 

“If that’s what you gotta call it to cope, sure. It may be bleak, but you can’t know what all the people you’ve hurt would have wanted, and you certainly can’t be sure if they were right to want it.” Juno pause when he says that, and resolves to take his own advice  _ later _ , “So you do your best. You live, because life is made for living and living is made for joy.

“And you know what makes me happy, Peter Nureyev?” Juno says, pressing their foreheads together.

Peter’s eyes open wide, his long lashes looking like that gold that sets his jewel-brown pupils. “What does?” he breathes.

“You. You are a good man, and you are  _ mine _ , and I will cherish you every moment that I can.”

“A rather unfortunate waste of your time.”

“ _ Nureyev _ .”   
  
This time he doesn’t respond, just looks vaguely ashamed of himself.

Juno continues, “Do we have to do the repetitions?”

“I think we might.”

“My name is Peter Nureyev,” Juno starts.

“My name is Peter Nureyev.”

“And I am a Good man.”

“And I am...I am a Good man.”

“I  _ am _ A good man.:

“I am- I think I might be- I  _ am _ a good man.”

“You’re doing great, hun. You get a kiss.” Peter smiles sleepilly, pressing his lips out in an ugly pucker. Juno kisses him on the cheek, and Peter pouts.

Juno takes the time to get comfortable, slipping a shin Between Peter’s and looping both his arms under Peter’s to curl around the other man’s waist. Peter yawns, long and surprisingly  _ sharp _ , and Juno gets the memo.

“Less cuddle-therapy and more just cuddles?”

“Please. Today was tiring in more ways than one.”

“Sure, hun.” Juno lets his eye fall shut.

It’s quiet.

Then Peter shifts.

Peter shifts again. 

Juno cracks an eye open, “Is there a problem?” 

“No. Not exactly.” Peter says.

Juno closes his eyes, not holding back a little smile when Peter sighs against his skin.

“Wish you’d kiss me,” Peter whispers.

That wakes Juno right up, “Well you could have said so.”

“Yes, well- _ mmph _ !” 

Juno hardly kisses him as much as he presses their faces together with force for a moment, reveling in how all of Peter’s muscles uncoil between his arms. Peter grips him a little tighter.

Juno pulls away to kiss the corners of Nureyev’s lips, moving to his jaw.

“Why do I feel like this is going in the reverse order it usually does?” Peter jokes, leaning to expose more of his neck.

“That’s because-- because it is,” Juno says, smiling against Peter’s skin. “You’re pretty.”

“ _ Hah _ .” 

“What? Are you saying I’m wrong? Cause I think you’re the best thing since a plasma knife sliced toast.” 

“Juno, don’t.”

“Don’t, what? Tell my partner how good he looks all bundled up and soft? Tell him how proud I am of him for how he did today and how he’s  _ always _ done? Tell him-”

“Juno!”

“-tell him that-- I love him  _ so _ much-- so, so much-- and we all love him-- and that I, for one, would be worse off having never-- met him, and-”

When Juno places another kiss on Peter’s face, he finds it wet with a tear. He pulls away. In the low light, Nureyev’s face is contorted some weird halfway point between desolation and glee, His smile edging on a wince, his brow drawn tight but the wrinkles beside his eyes deep. 

It’s beautiful in a way.

Juno only starts to feel a  _ little _ worried when Peter starts laughing, pulling on the back of Juno’s pajamas and thumping his fists against Juno’s back as he giggles to a comedy all his own. 

“ _ Juno _ ,” Peter sighs, opening his eyes wide.

“Y-yeah?”

“Juno!”

“Uh, Nureyev?” 

The only warning Juno gets is when Peter lifts his knee, and in the next-split second he’s looking up at Peter, held up from the bed but his forearms on either side of Juno’s head, and being pelted with kisses. Peter gets him on the forehead, and then again below the eye in with dramatic smacks of Peter’s lips.

Juno doesn’t have the time to form a snarky response before Peter capture’s his lips with his own. “Hmm!” Juno says, “Hmm-  _ hmmm _ .”

He’s talked too much today anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated! You can find my on tumblr at [ @drumkonwords ](https://www.tumblr.com/login?redirect_to=%2Fsettings%2Fblog%2Fdrumkonwords)
> 
> one more time, happy birthday to anti!


End file.
